Thursday, May 04, 2006
THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS: BONO VS. OPRAH IS HERE
disclaimer: this blog has lots of swear words. I think I'm being influenced by the Canadians...
Hello Chad.
After a week in service, I realize that I have not been entirely consistent with my blog. I've been lying and cheating and saying that I will address certain ideas and concepts that I haven't... I've promised consistency and knowhow and have not followed through.
I want to tell you in the words of the illustriously oversexed Madonna,"I'm sorry, BUT... nobody's perfect".... and you're just going to have to deal with it...
HOWEVER, to remedy the immediate situation, I will include an optimistic discussion regarding a long and tired standing debate....as well as a picture of a puppy.
see figure 1 - "puppy" (photo courtesy of fellow flickerista http://www.flickr.com/photos/sanydan/w.flickr.com/photos/sanydan/ who takes funny puppy pictures with her digital camera)
Topic #1:
vs.
I will refrain from including Moby in this debate because of this:
"Just who the hell is Moby? I mean, I know who he is-- he's the most ubiquitous little bald man this side of Verne Troyer. I meant, who is he, really? Because years of pop culture brainwashing have created a caricature of Moby as a posterboy for electronic music, Buddhist-vegan mysticism, and stiff-back political correctness..."
-pitchfork.com
and because of this:
"Moby symbolizes the ultimate hypocrisy, RICH, VEGAN, POLITICALLY CORRECT, RELIGIOUS, BALD, RICH, CRAPPY ELECTRONIC MUSICIAN, RICH. I'm sorry Chad, but this is where we part ways...why we may never truly understand each other and perhaps, why we still hang out after all these years. Moby is a big fat chump."
- A. P.
OKAY - so back to BUSHONNO AND TOPRAH. These two crazy motherfuckers rule the fucking planet! or at least the US planet. That being said, it doesn't mean that ONE is not better than the OTHER...AND the ONE question for everyone to ponder is:
WHO DO YOU LIKE BETTER? BONO or OPRAH?
I like BONO better and this is why:
1. Bono is Irish vs Oprah isn't.
2. Bono is a cool old school rock star with the youthful presence of a buddhist sex god vs. Oprah is a tight middle aged fat woman trapped in a skinny woman's body who talks to 200, middle aged rich white women (who are also fat women in skinny women's bodies) about Tomkat and Angelina Jolie; and occasionally, she talks about a kidnapped (white) girl and makes the parents cry on her show....cha ching!
3. Bono wears a leather jacket a cowboy hat and sunglasses vs. Oprah wears twin sets, tight pants, and taffeta.
4. Bono is a cool old school rock star with the presence of a buddhist sex god vs. Oprah is asexual.
5. Bono is using his cultural power to help people with Aids in Africa vs. Oprah gives away cars to people who can't afford them, pays people to help people with Aids in Africa, AND pays ordinary citizens to turn in sex offenders (which could mean a lot of things) while simultaniously interviewing Jennifer Aniston about how painful it is to see pictures of her former husband in W magazine. Here's are two of those pictures by the way - I though they were RAD!
6. Bono is a passionate, intelligent, gritty Irish rock star and likes African people with Aids vs. Oprah souless southern black woman who would have NO black audience if she didn't help African people with Aids and sometimes talk "ebonics" on her show - only when its necessary of course...ooooo that's harsh...
7. Bono makes great music vs. Oprah makes middle aged women feel bad about their hair...and their weight.
8. The Edge likes Bono vs. Tom Cruis likes Oprah.
whoop, there it is....
BUT overall, they're both really rich people I can't really relate to and if they teamed up and lived like normal civilians, they could probably wipe out all the problems they're so "passionate" about...
HOWEVER, art is the best form of communication and I've been moved by U2's songs, not just because my husband has formed a small religion based on them, but because I LIKE THEM and I LIKE TO LISTEN TO THEM - they make me feel good and Oprah makes me feel fat and poor and a little empty....
Please feel free to comment on this blog.
I still love those who love Oprah...or at least some of them...
ttfn,
-Alicia
Hello Chad.
After a week in service, I realize that I have not been entirely consistent with my blog. I've been lying and cheating and saying that I will address certain ideas and concepts that I haven't... I've promised consistency and knowhow and have not followed through.
I want to tell you in the words of the illustriously oversexed Madonna,"I'm sorry, BUT... nobody's perfect".... and you're just going to have to deal with it...
HOWEVER, to remedy the immediate situation, I will include an optimistic discussion regarding a long and tired standing debate....as well as a picture of a puppy.
see figure 1 - "puppy" (photo courtesy of fellow flickerista http://www.flickr.com/photos/sanydan/w.flickr.com/photos/sanydan/ who takes funny puppy pictures with her digital camera)
Topic #1:
vs.
I will refrain from including Moby in this debate because of this:
"Just who the hell is Moby? I mean, I know who he is-- he's the most ubiquitous little bald man this side of Verne Troyer. I meant, who is he, really? Because years of pop culture brainwashing have created a caricature of Moby as a posterboy for electronic music, Buddhist-vegan mysticism, and stiff-back political correctness..."
-pitchfork.com
and because of this:
"Moby symbolizes the ultimate hypocrisy, RICH, VEGAN, POLITICALLY CORRECT, RELIGIOUS, BALD, RICH, CRAPPY ELECTRONIC MUSICIAN, RICH. I'm sorry Chad, but this is where we part ways...why we may never truly understand each other and perhaps, why we still hang out after all these years. Moby is a big fat chump."
- A. P.
OKAY - so back to BUSHONNO AND TOPRAH. These two crazy motherfuckers rule the fucking planet! or at least the US planet. That being said, it doesn't mean that ONE is not better than the OTHER...AND the ONE question for everyone to ponder is:
WHO DO YOU LIKE BETTER? BONO or OPRAH?
I like BONO better and this is why:
1. Bono is Irish vs Oprah isn't.
2. Bono is a cool old school rock star with the youthful presence of a buddhist sex god vs. Oprah is a tight middle aged fat woman trapped in a skinny woman's body who talks to 200, middle aged rich white women (who are also fat women in skinny women's bodies) about Tomkat and Angelina Jolie; and occasionally, she talks about a kidnapped (white) girl and makes the parents cry on her show....cha ching!
3. Bono wears a leather jacket a cowboy hat and sunglasses vs. Oprah wears twin sets, tight pants, and taffeta.
4. Bono is a cool old school rock star with the presence of a buddhist sex god vs. Oprah is asexual.
5. Bono is using his cultural power to help people with Aids in Africa vs. Oprah gives away cars to people who can't afford them, pays people to help people with Aids in Africa, AND pays ordinary citizens to turn in sex offenders (which could mean a lot of things) while simultaniously interviewing Jennifer Aniston about how painful it is to see pictures of her former husband in W magazine. Here's are two of those pictures by the way - I though they were RAD!
6. Bono is a passionate, intelligent, gritty Irish rock star and likes African people with Aids vs. Oprah souless southern black woman who would have NO black audience if she didn't help African people with Aids and sometimes talk "ebonics" on her show - only when its necessary of course...ooooo that's harsh...
7. Bono makes great music vs. Oprah makes middle aged women feel bad about their hair...and their weight.
8. The Edge likes Bono vs. Tom Cruis likes Oprah.
whoop, there it is....
BUT overall, they're both really rich people I can't really relate to and if they teamed up and lived like normal civilians, they could probably wipe out all the problems they're so "passionate" about...
HOWEVER, art is the best form of communication and I've been moved by U2's songs, not just because my husband has formed a small religion based on them, but because I LIKE THEM and I LIKE TO LISTEN TO THEM - they make me feel good and Oprah makes me feel fat and poor and a little empty....
Please feel free to comment on this blog.
I still love those who love Oprah...or at least some of them...
ttfn,
-Alicia
