Mac just isn't that into me....
So we finally bought a computer. After 8 long years of dealing with our beloved dinosaur, a 10lb Toshiba often referred to as the CIA (sometimes CSI or FBI) laptop, we purchased an Imac from the Mac store IN THE MALL. Dragging our beloved German friends (who also happen to be one part teacher which means $150 education discount, yes Martin and I were married for about 1/2 hour. note: wedding not as memorable) for a downtown breakfast at Bijou and a fun filled hour of insanity.
Walking into the Mac store is like walking into a happy, fleshy website. Bright colors, large posters with information telling you what you can and should do with the new Ilife experience software, improvements, lots of improvements; ganky high school age hipsters walking around in T-shirts ranging from the lowly Orange (akin to a front desk concierge) to Dark Blue, the promoted (possibly college educated?) helper with facial hair and dark rimmed glasses promoting an image of knowledge and expertise that would defile any baby boomer with a mid-life crisis need for the latest gadget (oh wait..is that me?)
Not knowing how to navigate the interactive humanpage store, I immediately began talking to one of the ORANGE shirted youngsters who stared at me blankly as I rattled off exactly what I wanted and vehemently stated that I had no interest in any promotion and I just wanted the computer I came to get....after a moment's pause the entry level greeter stated, "I can't help you, but I certainly can get a specialist for you..."
The second hang-up was to be over the keyboard. Online, Mac offers a 10 key extended keyboard at no additional cost however in the sealed Imac package boxes, only the smaller keyboard is offered. Highlighting that money isn't an issue for most Mac purchasers, a light blue shirted boobie told me I could just like, buy one for $50 bucks. Ummmm 50 bucks = several beers, my gas bill, some jeans... Overwhelmed by the process and the unaccommodating nature of the homosapien homepage, which is really just like a real website but with humans in t-shirts, I broke down, unable to make a decision about a $50 keyboard, unable to process lianne's articulately stated response to my anxiety; "Alicia, Mac just isn't that into you"....
Alas, obstacle #3, I couldn't actually tell the septum pierced hipsterina cocking her head at me like, "why so nervous old lady?", which specific Imac I wanted to buy, "the second most expensive!?", instead I had to walk her over to one of the few unoccupied Imac computers in the "room" and show her on the actual actual Macstore website which Imac I wanted to purchase. "This one", I pointed with my real finger toward the screen wherein instead of taking my product from a shelf and walking it to a counter to pay for it she instead brought it right to me, took my card and swiped it in a little portable machine, right there, as I signed my active, urban lifestyle experience away...
now we talk for our mac. It says things to us like, "I love you" and "you should really exercise more"....
Walking into the Mac store is like walking into a happy, fleshy website. Bright colors, large posters with information telling you what you can and should do with the new Ilife experience software, improvements, lots of improvements; ganky high school age hipsters walking around in T-shirts ranging from the lowly Orange (akin to a front desk concierge) to Dark Blue, the promoted (possibly college educated?) helper with facial hair and dark rimmed glasses promoting an image of knowledge and expertise that would defile any baby boomer with a mid-life crisis need for the latest gadget (oh wait..is that me?)
Not knowing how to navigate the interactive humanpage store, I immediately began talking to one of the ORANGE shirted youngsters who stared at me blankly as I rattled off exactly what I wanted and vehemently stated that I had no interest in any promotion and I just wanted the computer I came to get....after a moment's pause the entry level greeter stated, "I can't help you, but I certainly can get a specialist for you..."
The second hang-up was to be over the keyboard. Online, Mac offers a 10 key extended keyboard at no additional cost however in the sealed Imac package boxes, only the smaller keyboard is offered. Highlighting that money isn't an issue for most Mac purchasers, a light blue shirted boobie told me I could just like, buy one for $50 bucks. Ummmm 50 bucks = several beers, my gas bill, some jeans... Overwhelmed by the process and the unaccommodating nature of the homosapien homepage, which is really just like a real website but with humans in t-shirts, I broke down, unable to make a decision about a $50 keyboard, unable to process lianne's articulately stated response to my anxiety; "Alicia, Mac just isn't that into you"....
Alas, obstacle #3, I couldn't actually tell the septum pierced hipsterina cocking her head at me like, "why so nervous old lady?", which specific Imac I wanted to buy, "the second most expensive!?", instead I had to walk her over to one of the few unoccupied Imac computers in the "room" and show her on the actual actual Macstore website which Imac I wanted to purchase. "This one", I pointed with my real finger toward the screen wherein instead of taking my product from a shelf and walking it to a counter to pay for it she instead brought it right to me, took my card and swiped it in a little portable machine, right there, as I signed my active, urban lifestyle experience away...
now we talk for our mac. It says things to us like, "I love you" and "you should really exercise more"....
happy monday
-me
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reality_distortion_field